Monday, June 11, 2012

Dumb & Dumber

***The Obama voter in a nutshell:

***Wildfires in Colorado. Yikes.

***Oh my, another diet miracle drug. Now it's Raspberry Ketone. If only it were as easy as taking a pill.

***A Dying Father, a Grateful Son. This is a great story. Take the time to read it.

It began as a dream, a boy, 16, and his father, descending the steps behind The Lodge at Pebble Beach and gazing wistfully at Eden. Some day, the boy vowed on behalf of both of them, before life intervened, as inevitably it will. Maybe next year. There would always be a next year.

***Barack Obama's 20 most impossibly self-absorbed moments. There are more, to be sure, but these really take the cake.

SOLIPSISM [sol-ip-siz-uhm] (noun): 1) Philosophy: the theory that only the self exists, or can be proved to exist. 2) Extreme preoccupation with and indulgence of one’s feelings, desires, etc.; egoistic self-absorption. 3) Barack Obama.


The Dieter's Prayer
(Author Unknown)
Lord, my soul is ripped with riot,
Incited by my wicked diet.

"We are what we eat," said a wise old man.
Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.

I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain,
But at my present weight I'll need a crane.

So grant me strength that I may not fall
Into the clutches of cholesterol.

May my flesh with carrot curls be sated,
That my soul may be polyunsaturated.

And show me the light that I may bear witness
To the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

And oleo margarine I'll never mutter
For the road to h*** is spread with butter.

And cream is cursed, and cake is awful,
And satan is hiding in every waffle.

Mephistopheles lurks in provolone,
The devil is in each slice of bologna.

Beelzebub is a chocolate drop
And lucifer is a lollipop.

Give me this day, my daily slice
But cut it thin and toast it twice.

I beg upon my dimpled knees,
Deliver me from Ju Jubees.

And when my days of trial are done
And my war with malted milks is won,

Let me stand with the saints in Heaven
In a shining robe, size thirty-seven !

I can do it, Lord, if you'll show to me
The virtues of lettuce and celery.

If you'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise
The sinfulness of hollandaise,

And pasta Milanese
And potatoes a la Lyonnaise,

And crisp fried chicken from the south.
Lord, if you love me, SHUT MY MOUTH!

He found that, when compared with adults raised in married, mother-father families, adults raised by lesbian mothers had negative outcomes in 24 of 40 categories, while adults raised by gay fathers had negative outcomes in 19 categories.

***                            GUUURRRRLLLLL..!!

***God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame.  ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

***Have a great day!

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